I am not quite sure what I expected to hear during the interview with Meghan Markle and Prince Harry as they sat down with Oprah. I imagined we would hear stories about the tabloids, royal bureaucracy, feelings of being trapped, and so on. What I definitely did not expect was to hear about a woman who asked for help with suicidal thoughts and never received it.
Meghan and Harry dropped bombshell after bombshell during the interview with Oprah, and I couldn’t help but see so many parallels between Meghan and Princess Diana. They were both initially welcomed and accepted into the royal family. They were both well-liked by the public. They both seemed to induce a media frenzy which ultimately led to dangerous consequences. And, according to Meghan, they were both ignored by “the institution” when they cried out for help.
Meghan revealed that she lived in near isolation, rarely leaving the house, in an attempt to reduce the press about her. There was an understanding that if Meghan did her part, she would receive a certain level of protection and support, which included the royal institution’s influence with the media. As time went on, she realized that she was not being protected and the level of hate and threats from the public accelerated like a runaway train during her pregnancy.
In Meghan and Harry’s view, she was being treated differently than other members of the royal family. And it became clear that her child(ren) would be as well. Meghan shared that a member from the royal family had multiple conversations with Harry about their concerns of how dark their baby’s skin would be and how that might impact the royal family.
Things came to a head and Meghan knew she needed to share with her husband that her mental health was suffering, and she was having suicidal thoughts. Meghan explained, “I knew that if I didn’t say it, that I would do it. I just didn’t want to be alive anymore. And that was a very clear, and real, and frightening constant thought.” Meghan insisted that she needed to go somewhere to get help, and was told that she couldn’t because it “wouldn’t be good for the institution.”
“Nothing was ever done. So we had to find a solution,” Meghan shared about their decision to step back from royal life.
“My regret is believing them when they said I would be protected. I believed that.”
The idea that in this day and age that a person can admit that they need help and still not get it is heartbreaking. I don’t care who you are, what you’ve done, or what type of status you have, mental illness can affect anyone, and everyone is deserving of help.
When I think back to my own experience of asking for help when I experienced depression during my first pregnancy, it brings me to tears to think of what might have happened if I received the responses that Meghan did. I honestly don’t know if I would be alive today.
My decision to speak up and asked for help was accompanied by a lot of shame and feelings of failure that made it difficult to admit. I remember literally feeling unable to open my mouth and say the words, “I think I’m depressed.” Finally getting those words out is one of the most vulnerable and challenging things I have ever done. It feels like your heart is sitting on a platter as you hand it over to the person you are confiding in to do what they will with it.
You are stripped down, naked, for all the world to see and to judge at that moment. You are acutely aware of “how this looks” because you are already thinking those things about yourself. The fear can be paralyzing.
Meghan likely felt all of these same things and still summoned up the courage to ask for help. In return, she believes she was told in no uncertain terms that the image of the royal family was more important than her life.
Confiding in someone about your mental health is a sacred act. Whoever receives that disclosure should handle it with the greatest of care because you never know how close you are to a life-or-death situation.
Luckily, I believe, Meghan has a husband who fought for her life and for the life of their family. He made the decision that nothing was more important than his family. Harry knew that in order to have the freedom to get Meghan the help she needed, they needed to take a step back from being senior members of the royal family. He knew that all of the titles, money, and status in the world would never be more important than losing the love of his life.
This story comes full circle in the way Harry could be there for his wife in a way that no one was there for his mother.
In the end, people are what matters.
Diana knew that. Harry knows that. Meghan knows that too and is sharing that truth with the world.
And may we all follow suit.
This is so sad! I love Meghan Markle, but I never knew what was going on or why they left of anything.
Thought provoking insight! It’s very difficult and fears of those suffering from depression and anxiety is different and difficult for each person… No one can know how they are feeling. I’m glad she has such a supportive husband!
Thank you for sharing your story. Depression can certainly happen to anyone. I like your description that confessing that you need help is like handing your heart over on a platter. Great reminder of what a huge responsibility is it if someone confides in you in this way.
This is heartbreaking đ I donât know much about the Royal Family, but for someone to have to go through this.
I hope that her sharing her story helps other people get the help they need when they ask
Absolutely!!! Mental health is so very important. Thank you for this post.
WOW! What a story! Strong people admit problems and seek help. Our job as a society is to have ears that can hear cries for help before it is too late. Glad she was strong enough to admit she needed help!
WOW! What a story! Strong people admit problems and seek help. Our job as a society is to have ears that can hear cries for help before it is too late. Glad she was strong enough to admit she needed help!
How awful that they were more interested in their image than getting help for someone crying out for it. This is such a difficult time. My son’s peer group is feeling the brunt of it. He has lost so many friends to either suicide or overdose. There is an entire generation that is completely lost right now. I can’t even imagine not trying to help someone who has the balls to ask for it…that is not an easy thing for someone in that position to do. We need to lose the stigma.
Ditch them all Meghan! And get help! Do whatâs best for you! Donât get whatâs so special about that family. A bunch of jerks. At least you got a good husband.