I am not quite sure what I expected to hear during the interview with Meghan Markle and Prince Harry as they sat down with Oprah. I imagined we would hear stories about the tabloids, royal bureaucracy, feelings of being trapped, and so on. What I definitely did not expect was to hear about a woman who asked for help with suicidal thoughts and never received it.
Meghan and Harry dropped bombshell after bombshell during the interview with Oprah, and I couldn’t help but see so many parallels between Meghan and Princess Diana. They were both initially welcomed and accepted into the royal family. They were both well-liked by the public. They both seemed to induce a media frenzy which ultimately led to dangerous consequences. And, according to Meghan, they were both ignored by “the institution” when they cried out for help.
Meghan revealed that she lived in near isolation, rarely leaving the house, in an attempt to reduce the press about her. There was an understanding that if Meghan did her part, she would receive a certain level of protection and support, which included the royal institution’s influence with the media. As time went on, she realized that she was not being protected and the level of hate and threats from the public accelerated like a runaway train during her pregnancy.
In Meghan and Harry’s view, she was being treated differently than other members of the royal family. And it became clear that her child(ren) would be as well. Meghan shared that a member from the royal family had multiple conversations with Harry about their concerns of how dark their baby’s skin would be and how that might impact the royal family.
Things came to a head and Meghan knew she needed to share with her husband that her mental health was suffering, and she was having suicidal thoughts. Meghan explained, “I knew that if I didn’t say it, that I would do it. I just didn’t want to be alive anymore. And that was a very clear, and real, and frightening constant thought.” Meghan insisted that she needed to go somewhere to get help, and was told that she couldn’t because it “wouldn’t be good for the institution.”
“Nothing was ever done. So we had to find a solution,” Meghan shared about their decision to step back from royal life.
“My regret is believing them when they said I would be protected. I believed that.”
The idea that in this day and age that a person can admit that they need help and still not get it is heartbreaking. I don’t care who you are, what you’ve done, or what type of status you have, mental illness can affect anyone, and everyone is deserving of help.
When I think back to my own experience of asking for help when I experienced depression during my first pregnancy, it brings me to tears to think of what might have happened if I received the responses that Meghan did. I honestly don’t know if I would be alive today.
My decision to speak up and asked for help was accompanied by a lot of shame and feelings of failure that made it difficult to admit. I remember literally feeling unable to open my mouth and say the words, “I think I’m depressed.” Finally getting those words out is one of the most vulnerable and challenging things I have ever done. It feels like your heart is sitting on a platter as you hand it over to the person you are confiding in to do what they will with it.
You are stripped down, naked, for all the world to see and to judge at that moment. You are acutely aware of “how this looks” because you are already thinking those things about yourself. The fear can be paralyzing.
Meghan likely felt all of these same things and still summoned up the courage to ask for help. In return, she believes she was told in no uncertain terms that the image of the royal family was more important than her life.
Confiding in someone about your mental health is a sacred act. Whoever receives that disclosure should handle it with the greatest of care because you never know how close you are to a life-or-death situation.
Luckily, I believe, Meghan has a husband who fought for her life and for the life of their family. He made the decision that nothing was more important than his family. Harry knew that in order to have the freedom to get Meghan the help she needed, they needed to take a step back from being senior members of the royal family. He knew that all of the titles, money, and status in the world would never be more important than losing the love of his life.
This story comes full circle in the way Harry could be there for his wife in a way that no one was there for his mother.
In the end, people are what matters.
Diana knew that. Harry knows that. Meghan knows that too and is sharing that truth with the world.
And may we all follow suit.
Heartbreaking for sure. I didn’t listen to the interview, but just caught snippets of it on the news.
Great article. I have been following this in the news this week.
As someone who suffers from depression, PTSD, anxiety and more, it’s so hard to realize and then ask for help. I felt/feel so week more often than I feel brave. The vulnerability it takes to ask for help…. I’m so blessed I too had a husband who took it seriously. And because I was surrounded by family for decades who didn’t realize I needed help, it all came crashing down years later. But so thankful for those who protect and fight for us.
Your commentary was spot on and the parallels between Meghan and Diana are chilling. I’m so freaking proud of her and Harry for speaking truth and continuing to normalize the discussion around mental health (and racism).
I can’t even imagine being put through the scrutiny they’ve been through since Day 1. The interview was very telling.
I watched the whole interview, and was pretty surprised by whole suicide thing. Its hard to imagine feeling so low, having the courage to ask for help, and being told “NO”. Incredible!
Wow! What an incredible message! Thank you for sharing this. I don’t watch a lot of television and don’t follow celebrities much, so I had not heard of this before now. It saddens me greatly that image is more important than mental health help in that royal environment.
I haven’t seen the interview, so I am surprised at what came out during it. I like having a deeper understanding of what conditions were like behind the curtain, and applaud Meghan for coming forward with her story.
I am happy to read the true story about Megan but sadden to learn of her circumstances. So glad she is finally getting help. I dont usually follow this kind of stuff but I kept seeing posts on Facebook bashing her because they are rich. I thought rich people have problems too so stop bashing them.
I can’t even imagine being under that much scrutiny around the clock. It has to take a toll on anybody.