Disclaimer :: This article is based on one (very fortunate) mom’s experience with sobriety. It does not replace substance abuse and mental health counseling. If you or a loved one are struggling, call the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357.
Giving up alcohol may be the best thing I’ve ever done. Don’t get me wrong, having my children is right up there, but I could not be the mother I am today if I was still drinking.
You see, alcohol had this invisible stronghold over me. While I wasn’t drinking daily, I misused alcohol to soothe stress and anxiety. I didn’t even realize this was a problem. Drinking is normalized — and even sensationalized — in my culture, and all over the world.
The thing is, my stress and anxiety weren’t relieved with alcohol. They were exacerbated. The day after drinking, I would find myself feeling even worse than before. I would have low energy, a short fuse, and much less of myself to give to those around me.
That’s when I decided something had to change. I didn’t quit cold-turkey — there were a few kid-free nights out with my husband where we decided to let loose. Each time, though, we both remembered why we no longer indulged the way we once did.
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Fast forward two years later without alcohol, and this is what I’ve learned:
1. Get to the Root of the Issue
Mommy wine culture tells us that we need alcohol to cope. The fact is, we need support. Stress (hello, motherhood!), anxiety, and trauma can all impact our relationship with alcohol. Alcohol, in turn, impacts our judgment and decision-making abilities. Healthier coping techniques will take you much further than a quick fix like alcohol. You don’t have to get sober alone — see a therapist, counselor, or join a support group for lasting effects.
2. Replace Alcohol with Something Healthy
Whether it’s an endorphin-boosting walk in the park or that hobby you’ve always wanted to try, replacing alcohol with a guilt-free pleasure can make all the difference. Put down the drink and pick up a paintbrush, book, or even the phone to reconnect with old friends. Gratitude, mindfulness, and yoga are my favorite alcohol substitutes.
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3. Sobriety Doesn’t Mean Depravation
I get a placebo buzz from a great mocktail. Whiskey Cake (don’t let the name fool you), Barley & Board, True Food Kitchen, and Legacy Hall are all great places for guilt-free indulgences. Central Market, H-E-B, and Trader Joe’s have some alcohol-free, bubbly options as well. My favorites are a Paloma or even a glass of Fre, alcohol-removed wine.
4. Connection Is the Antidote
It’s okay to say “no” and take breaks from those who encourage drinking, whether they’re pressuring you to drink or driving you to drink. Surround yourself with helpful people. Join a support group, meet some mom friends, or connect with that other parent at the park. You never know what someone else might be going through.
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5. The Only Way Out Is Through
Just hold on. The real lasting effects of sobriety come later on. At first, you may be tempted or afraid of missing out. If you keep going, these feelings can be replaced with confidence, peace, and lasting contentment. Alcohol provides a short buzz, while sobriety offers slow-burning gratification. Pregnancy and breastfeeding can sometimes make it easier to quit drinking for extended periods of time, but sobriety outside of these stages can be so fulfilling. Keep going, mama!
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Since giving up alcohol, I have gained so much. I’ve found creative outlets in writing and crafting with my Cricut. I celebrate life’s milestones with chosen family, bubbly seltzer in hand. I cherish sacred moments each night with my family, reading at bedtime, as we laugh and make memories.
This is the real substance in life. This is what I’ll actually remember. My life has never felt so rich, and I wake up each morning grateful for another day. I’ll cheers to that.
If you or a loved one are struggling with substances, you are not alone. Call SAMHSA’s National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357.
