Marriage is hard work! I am not the same person my husband married. He is not the same person I married. We’ve changed. We’ve morphed most of our good qualities into one. Our kids are getting a little older and don’t require as much handholding as they once did as toddlers. They can play on the playground in the backyard by themselves without our supervision. It’s a nice sweet spot we’ve hit in our parenting journey in many ways.
I don’t mean to brag, but with our growing offspring, they can put themselves to bed and sleep through the night. (I hope this offers hope to the moms with young kids that this day WILL come.) But ironically, it is now ME who can no longer sleep through the night. My first issue was night sweats every single night. I’m talking I had to keep a towel by my bedside and I would have to change clothes in the middle of the night. Rinse and repeat. I dreaded going to sleep. Turns out I had a thyroid disorder: Hashimotos. I was put on a synthetic and this has helped.
I’m now at a point where my kids are no longer waking me up, nor are my night sweats are no longer waking me up. It’s my ball and chain who is waking me up all hours of the night! This man snores so loud sometimes he wakes himself up. I tried to work through it. I got a sound machine for our room, I used earplugs, I sandwiched my head in between pillows. Nothing worked. I woke up every morning so angry at him. Sleep is gold to me. He would wake up every morning not knowing how disruptive he was. I began to resent him…just like I did when I was the one getting up at night with babies.
We have a spare bedroom for when guests (my mom) come to visit. I decided to try sleeping in there. It was a little odd at first going to bed in a different room than my husband. I worried this could put a burden on our relationship.
There were benefits of sleeping in separate rooms. He was able to do his thing: listen to a podcast going to bed, get up early and start working #workfromhomelife. I was able to do my thing: watch a show, read a book, go to sleep.
We both wake up in the morning genuinely happy to see each other. We try to wake up at least an hour before the kids so we have time together before the day gets too crazy. We try to go on walks together a few times a week. This is great for us to have uninterrupted conversations and allows us to discuss anything going on with our kids at that moment. Sometimes we will watch a show together before we go our separate ways for the evening.
I’m not saying this works for everyone, but sleep is so important to me. This has made a positive impact for our marriage, and it might be worth a try for those struggling to share a bed with a restless sleeper or snorer.
