“Hacks” might be too much. It makes being a parent sound too easy, like there are shortcuts or secret codes that will unlock superpowers. Instead of hacks, think of these more like strategies that have helped keep my sanity as a mom of three, who works outside the home as a corporate lawyer.
Speaking of lawyer, here is the disclaimer: These “working parent hacks” may not be new — and some may not work for all parents — but might inspire you to come up with a system for your own life.
1. Shared Email
This is key to our existence. We have a shared family Gmail that is reserved solely for family administration. My husband and I don’t use it for work, for emails with friends, for personal shopping, or hobbies. You will not find his triathlon race stuff or my Audible credits vying for attention in the inbox.
What you will find is correspondence about daycare registration, school, after-school activities, and the kids’ doctor appointments. We use it for summer camps, kids shopping, and their educational apps.
Having one email shared between my husband and me saves us time forwarding emails, and sheds light on some of the “invisible” administrative work so both parents can tackle it together, instead of it resting solely with one.
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2. Shared Calendar
We also use a shared Google calendar. Similarly to the email, my husband and I don’t put our work commitments that are during business hours on it; however, if a work activity is going to happen before 8:00 a.m. (like a client meeting) or after 5:00 p.m. (like a work dinner), it goes on the shared calendar.
The shared calendar also has kid activities, doctor appointments, if it’s Dress Up Like a Book Character Day and, sometimes, what we’re having for dinner. It has birthday parties and playdates, too.
In our hallway, we have a smart device, and I love how our older kids can ask it what is on the schedule. Thanks to this piece of technology, the kids don’t have to ask me what after-school activity is on the docket, what’s for dinner, or when the playdate or birthday party is because it can tell them.
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3. Weekly Meetings
On Thursdays or Fridays, I review the next week and create a “parent coverage” table — basically who has drop off and pickup — color coordinated for “mom” and “dad.”
We also have a meeting on Sundays after the kids go to bed with our beverage of choice. Or, if we are too exhausted, we have a call during our Monday morning commutes to make sure we are on the same page for the week.
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4. Pre-Packing Activity Bags
Usually on Sundays, we make sure we pack all the “go bags” we need for afterschool activities for the week, and either put them in the trunks of our cars or in our foyer.
For example, we check the diaper bag to make sure we have diapers, wipes, a change of clothing, and a pack of goldfish and apple sauce. We pack a bag for my son who goes to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. I make sure we have his uniform, a pair of slides, and an activity for his sister, while she waits. We pack a swim bag with bathing suits, towels, goggles, slip-on shoes, hair ties, and a change of clothes for swim lessons.
By the way, when we get home from any activity, we repack immediately for another day.
This system saves us from hunting for what we need right before we need to walk out the door. All the baseball stuff goes together; all the soccer stuff goes together. (You get it). We have a space designated for activity bags in our laundry room and foyer. Most importantly, everyone knows and is on board with the system.
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5. Creating a Menu
Figuring out meals may be the bane of our existence. Two out of three of my kids are extremely picky eaters. I get so frustrated when I ask what they want for dinner, and get an “I don’t know.” I am equally frustrated when I cook, and they don’t eat. What’s a busy parent to do if you don’t want to blow your disposable income on meal delivery?
Simple — I always keep mac and cheese, hot dogs, or ramen and eggs for backup.
But to save us from food boredom, and introduce new foods once in a while, I had them create a menu of foods they like to eat. They drew pictures of what they like to eat (I added words for the foods in case we forgot and couldn’t tell from the pictures.). I consult their menu whenever I want input for meal prep and grocery-list making. If I introduce a new meal (usually once a week), they add it to the menu if they like it.
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6. Using a Morning & Evening Checklist
We all know how important habits are, but it’s hard to stick to them when you’re exhausted. “What if we skip flossing/book/prayers tonight?” can’t only come up in my family alone, right? I can’t say that we don’t occasionally skip things still, but what has helped is a morning and evening checklist that the kids can start doing themselves.
On a dry erase board, we drew pictures of a toothbrush, hamper, a book, and a cross for prayers in permanent marker. Each night, we give the kids a dry erase marker to check things off as they go.
You may be wondering what’s the point of this “extra” work of creating a system. For me, I find that if I can create a workable system for our family, it is one less thing that I have to think about. And if it works well, it can prevent frustration. The freed-up headspace allows me to be more patient and present, and focus on fostering connection after being away from my kids all day at work.
What are some of your “hacks?”
