While we can’t step in and take on another’s parenting burden, I’d like to submit a simple way to lighten the burden ever so slightly and support our fellow moms and dads. Let’s watch for and call out the good we see in other people’s kids.
A Spotlight in Dark Times
Raising kids is full of hills and valleys. When you’re up, you’re up! But, goodness, when you’re down, you can feel deep in the trenches.
Struggling in the parenting department can make you feel like nothing is going right in your world. We question ourselves. We doubt our choices. The inner turmoil is all-consuming. Difficult seasons like this call for casting a little light.
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When you pick up on another child’s positive choice, telling his or her parent can make a big difference on that worn-down mindset. Shining a spotlight on a kind word spoken or a decision to share can help a mom or dad lift their eyes from the valley and see some positivity.
Sometimes we all need a little “Hey! Look at this great thing your kid is doing!“.Perspective matters.
An Encouragement to Parents
You don’t need to be in a low season of parenting to appreciate someone calling out the good stuff in your child. There is sheer delight in hearing my son used good manners or being told my daughter is helpful when I’m not around. It’s confirmation of the process.
I’m on a mission to raise my kids well and reassurance from another parent can be incredibly uplifting. This type of encouragement provides mental and emotional sustenance during the journey.
I think of it as fans who line a street, cheering, as marathoners make their way towards the finish line. Being seen and having your efforts applauded keeps you going!
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An Encouragement to Kids
There are certain adult figures a kid expects to receive input from in their everyday life. Parents are at the forefront of the list and then teachers, coaches, and anyone else who plays an active role in their day.
When you are just “Bobby’s mom” to another child, and you make a point of calling out something good, it’s an unexpected burst of encouragement. What kid can’t use someone cheering them on who doesn’t have to? It says, “Hey, kiddo! I see that great thing you’re doing! Keep it up!”
I was recently at a trampoline park and watched a girl find an employee for a boy she didn’t know who’d been hurt. As the employee retrieved an icepack for the injured kid, I made a point of telling the girl how much I appreciated her being a helper. The world needed more people like her. She grinned from ear to ear. I went on to say someone had done a beautiful job teaching her to be a helper. She replied excitedly, “My mom!” and I told her to be sure and tell her mom what a kind-hearted daughter she’s raising.
I hope our conversation stays with the little girl. When things get difficult, I want her to remember a random mom calling out the good. May she continue growing as a compassionate human. Use your encouragement liberally. It can only help!
Tweens and Teens
The tween and teen years are some of the most painful to walk through. While the flooding hormones and partially formed brains don’t help their case, this particular age range can get a bad rap. Many adults see a group of teenagers and assign negative stereotypes to the people in front of them.
I’d like to challenge this type of thinking and ask that, as parents, we start looking for the good in each other’s tweens and teens.
My son’s middle school makes a point of celebrating its students. They highlight students who are “caught doing good.” They are rewarded with prizes, pictures are taken with the principal, and announcements are made to the school and parents. Tweens and teens are bombarded with internal and external criticism. Calling out the good is desperately needed during these formative years.
Our world does enough to knock us down as parents. It has a way of overlooking our kids and villainizing our teens. We can fight back the negativity by keeping our eyes open for the good stuff along the journey of raising kids. Let’s call out the good more and watch the light spread.
