I spend 45 minutes a day in a school pick-up lane. Five days a week at 45 minutes a day adds up to about 225 min a week…roughly 15 hours a month. And sometimes in that pick- up lane silence, waiting for noisy kids to rip the door open, it is when we can hear ourselves most clearly.
My youngest went to Kindergarten in August and I couldn’t quite pinpoint the emotions until they fully settled about a month into the 2021-22 school year while I was sitting in the pick-up lane, so I thought I’d write it all down.
When your littlest goes to kindergarten, your stay-at-home mom role goes with her.
What should happen next?
Many of us completely lose our identities once we become moms, only to slowly work our way back into the person we have been the entire time. This time she’s stronger, less rigid; the motherhood trenches are carved and worn. Our attire has changed. Internal dialogue has moved away from the self and is now an outward expression of concern for a heart that beats outside of our body. The season of service has shifted from being tethered to the house to being a form of chauffeur-meets-personal-assistant of a tiny human trying to learn the foundations of a sport or a craft or a skill.
I once met a woman who said to me, “Be like bamboo.” I didn’t immediately understand what she meant, as I don’t have bamboo and don’t know its properties or attributes. She said again, “Be like bamboo and when the wind shifts, just sway.” She was talking about resiliency. The wind blows and we sway. 
Motherhood is like this: full of resiliency. The heart will tug and stretch and bleed. We sway.
Move into the next station. The next phase of motherhood begins and the transition is so subtle that you don’t realize it’s happened until the first fall leaves drop and she has no trouble finding her way to her kinder classroom. Her independence radiates and even though your eyes are hot with tears, you wouldn’t have it any other way.
If this resonated with you, I invite you to start journaling. You can use it as a self inquiry into what is showing up emotionally, physically, spiritually, in your life at this moment.
A little fun fact about journaling and its benefits: Journaling is cathartic and an excellent tool to help release emotions. It has been proven to reduces stress, boost immunity, keep memory sharp, boost mood, and even strengthen emotional resilience. Be like bamboo.
