I was born and raised in the United States and was an ABC (American Born Chinese). I did ballet, played soccer and had sleepovers just like every other kid I knew. Just by looking at my house you would think we were a totally normal American family, but it was different in one room — the kitchen.
My family is Chinese. My parents immigrated here when they were 18 for college and to start a better life in the United States. My parents knew that they wanted their children to grow up in a traditional American home, but they both still wanted to incorporate the traditions and customs of our heritage. In the Chinese culture, the kitchen is the star of the home. Everything revolves around this one room, and the smells and sounds coming from here are the same in many Chinese homes.
Our kitchen was a traditional Chinese kitchen. We had rice cookers, woks and other common Chinese cooking appliances. Every night, my dad would make a traditional Chinese dinner for the family. It always started with a soup and was accompanied by two or three main dishes and always with rice. These dishes could include tofu with shrimp and soy sauce, chicken with snow peas and brown sauce and chicken with Chinese mushrooms and scallops.
To some people those seem like ordinary food items prepared together and to others they seem strange and unusual for a young child to consume. There was a routine at every meal. My sister and I would help set the table with chopsticks and serving utensils, while my mom scooped the rice into the rice bowls and my dad would finish plating all the dishes. My dad would bring the dishes to the table and we would all wait for him to sit down and then my parents would serve the food to my sister and I into our bowls.
Every night we sat down as a family with rice bowls and chopsticks and ate dinner together.
This was my normal and I still felt like an American kid living in a Chinese house. If my friends would come over for dinner, I always asked my mom if we could have American food so my friends would feel comfortable. My parents would usually comply and we would have pizza or fast food, but it always felt strange because this wasn’t my normal, but I wanted my friends to like me and feel comfortable in our home.
Looking back I shouldn’t have been embarrassed of the food that was provided to me every night. I am proud of what my parents gave me and I have a strong sense of where I came from and should have encouraged my friends to celebrate and embrace my heritage. There are still dishes that I ask my parents to make when I go to there house that remind me of my childhood. Any shrimp or fish dish that my dad made were special meals that were prepared with great care and detail and those are the dishes that remind me of my childhood the most.
My husband and I agreed that we will both still try to incorporate the Chinese culture into our home.
Our son is only five months old, but we are saying some words in Chinese to hopefully build his vocabulary so when he gets older he recognizes the language we speak. My husband actually grew up in a Chinese restaurant eating the same food, so we both are able to prepare the same dishes like chicken and broccoli or peking duck and in the future our son will eat the same dishes we did as children.
What my childhood has taught me was to try to embrace your traditions and culture at home whenever possible even if they are strange or unusual to outsiders. Because when your children grow up they will be able to look back and be proud of where they are from and be able to say that their family embraced their culture in their own way. I want our son to know where he comes from and hopefully he will be proud to share his Chinese heritage at the dinner table with anyone he meets.
What traditions and customs did your family have that you will try to share with your kids in your home?
