My children are 10, 5 and almost 2. When I tell people their ages, more often than not, I get a, “Wow, all over the place, huh?” And yes, that is what it feels like most days: ALL OVER THE PLACE!
We didn’t plan it that way and some days I feel like we should have had them closer in age. The truth is, we had three miscarriages: one before the 10-year-old, one before the 5-year-old, and one before the 2-year-old. So, in essence, this is exactly the way it was intended to be. Over the past 10 years I’ve fought their age gaps. I’ve wanted desperately to have them get along, to bring out the good in each other. Well, no more! Now, I’m learning to embrace the gaps. Here’s what I’ve learned so far:
The older two will not get along
No matter what positive reinforcement or negative consequences are put in place, these two just will NOT see eye to eye…on anything! My two big boys (as I affectionately refer to them) have polar opposite personalities. Roman is strong-willed, while Christian is a go-with-the-flow kind of kid. Their conflicting personalities show through from the moment they wake until the moment they drift off to sleep. There is an occasional fluke of a moment when they get along but I’ve learned by now that those moments are few and far between. I joke that maybe when they are 20 and 25 or maybe 25 and 30 this struggle will be long gone. Hey, a mom can dream, right!?
The relationship between my younger two is ideal
From the time you embark on having more than one child and mention that they will be two-to-three years apart, a resounding cry of, “That’s a good age gap!” is typically what you hear. And from my own personal experience—it is! Christian (5) involves his little brother in what he does. He leads him, teaches him, and adores him. Aaron (2) goes along with it all. Which leads me to my next point.
The baby is never the baby for long
The youngest in my crew, at a mere almost two years old, played with baby toys maybe once in his life. And by once, I literally mean ONE DAY. The thing about having two older brothers is that he is into EVERYTHING they are into. When I want to sit and play with soft blocks, he brings out the action figures and begins knocking said blocks down. When I want him to sit and watch an episode of Baby Einstein with me, he demands, “Panda, Panda!” which means he’d prefer to watch Kung Fu Panda, like his big brothers. Time is fleeting and this “baby” will not stay a baby for too long.
Life won’t always be like this
Although my three boys are 5, 3 and 8 years apart there’s one thing I can always count on: they make life interesting and EXTRAORDINARILY FUN! So while I’m over here navigating through pre-teen angst, reinforcing how to sound of CVC words or beginning to potty train, I know life won’t always be like this. One day (according to my calculations), they’ll be a senior in high school, a seventh grader in middle school, and a third grader in elementary school. And it will be a whole other set of life experiences to handle. Or better yet, one day I’ll have a college grad, college freshman, and high school ninth grader, and I’ll think back on those days when life seemed so tumultuous with a pre-teen, kindergartener, and toddler, and then I’ll laugh and embrace the gaps even more.
The “Remix,” “Encore,” and “Mic Drop” graphic tees can be found here
All photos by RC PhotogrAphy
