Let me start off by noting that I did not sleep train my first born. She was (and still is) extremely strong willed. Her ability to scream in her crib until rescued would always prevail. We allowed her to sleep in our bed from the get go, a solid bedtime and routine was never successfully enforced, and I had to physically rock her to sleep for the first three years of her life.
Nap time was also a struggle. During the day she would only fall asleep to the rolling vibrations of my Honda being driven aimlessly around town. So, instead of being able to “sleep when baby sleeps,” I would be playing Uber driver extraordinaire to someone who didn’t know their elbow from their eyeball.
She may have been content with the way things went down in the sleep department.
But I was exhausted.
Fast forward to today, my daughter is 4 1/2 years old and is STILL a terrible sleeper on her own. She has only recently started sleeping in her own bed. This typically lasts between 2-4 hours before she makes her way back to our bed, kicking and shoving the blankets off of me as she climbs in and stretches her freakishly long limbs across the mattress. Our bed goes from a spacious and comfortable king pillow top to what feels like a damaged sardine can in a matter of seconds.
And after 3+ years of holding, rocking, and swaying a small human every night, I look and feel more like Quasimodo than my old pain free, decent postured self.
In the recent months, we have added a bouncing baby boy to our brood. He came into life a pretty stellar sleeper, sleeping long stretches through the night at only a few weeks old. He would stay in the bassinet without screaming his tiny head off. And he took amazingly long naps from the start (no constant movement required).
I obviously congratulated myself on producing such a fantastic sleeper this time around. I assured myself that my daughter is simply the way she is, not because of my lack of will power and inability to sleep train her, but because it is in her nature to reject sleep.
If only it were that simple.
Soon the great sleeping tendencies of my son began to unravel into the same problems we faced 4 years prior with spawn #1. Exhaustion started setting in and I found myself once again bringing him into our bed at night and using the same physically straining rocking motions to force slumber both day and night.
Each night was harder than the last.
This was NOT happening again.
Soon I took to every reputable parenting website and resource that offered information on sleep training an infant and a few days later I was ready to rock and roll.
Back when I was a brand new mama, “cry it out” seemed like a myriad of dirty words.
How could anyone do that to their poor baby?
How awful!
How emotionally damaging!
I would NEVER do that.
Ha! I was so naive.
Letting my son “cry it out” was the best thing I ever did.
Of course that first week or so was extremely tough. Listening to the cries, screams, and whimpers through the walls and monitor made me want to cry myself to sleep. But each night got better and months later I can say that we have one heck of a sleeping champion on our hands. No more rocking, no more car rides, no more bed sharing.
To those of you contemplating whether to co-sleep with your little bundle of joy or teach him/her to be a crib dweller with a stone cold bed time, the best advice I can offer is this: absolutely do whatever makes you the most comfortable as a parent.
And if sleep training IS in fact in your future, here are a few tips and tricks that seemed to work brilliantly for us:
- Use infant mittens on their tiny hands. As babies, both of my kids would upset themselves to the point of grabbing at their faces with their sharp little baby nails and would cause a bit of bloody damage to that perfect silky smooth skin. The mittens fixed that problem and helped avoid any addition reason for tears.
- Set the mood. I personally use a nightlight projecting an underwater scene onto the ceiling and a sound machine that replicates the sweet roar of ocean waves. I have not changed this since day one of sleep training and it seems to help him understand that when these go on, it’s time for some shut eye.
- Dress them snug and warm. Most babies love to be swaddled, so I would definitely recommend doing this before putting them down. If they are past swaddling age and size, use a snug fitting onesie and sleep sack to make them feel secure in their new sleep environment.
- Rip the band-aid off! I read several resources on this topic where the process seemed extremely drawn out. I decided to start off strong the first night and after putting him down sleepy, but still awake, stayed out of the room and checked in every 15-20 minutes. By night four, he fell asleep after only 10 minutes of crying.
- ROUTINE, ROUTINE, ROUTINE. Once you figure out the routine that works for both you and your baby, stick to it! Consistency has been key to our success.
The good news is that sleep success for baby means sleep for mom! Unless of course you have a 4 year old that continues to pop your personal space bubble and kicks you in the spleen on a nightly basis.
Is your child a good sleeper? What techniques and routines work for you and your child(ren)?
