I think a lot (maybe even obsess) about my children as they grow older. Maybe it’s because I see it happening at such a rapid pace. My boys are 11, six, and three, so clearly we are out of the fresh baby stage. I don’t know how we got here so quickly. I see friends’ babies and think to myself, “WOW, that is not my life anymore.”
I’m dealing with an assortment of new experiences. And as I grow older with them, I start seeing the world in a different way, too. I’ve stopped being naive about many things. I know I’ve grown from when I first became a mom 11 years ago to now. But one thing that has always stuck with me even as I see my boys grow, is that I NEVER, EVER want to stop hugging and kissing them (even when they are in their teens or young adults- not ever).
When I was little, I remember a time, maybe as a preteen or teenager, when I was so embarrassed to hug my parents around my friends, or anyone really. They respected my space and it kind of just stayed that way as a young adult and even to now. I never really go in for a deep hug or even a peck on the forehead. It’s a little sad, but I guess I’m a creature of habit and a quick side hug is what we’re all used to. But I see my relationship with my own children very differently that what I remember my own childhood being.
Photo Credit: Laurie Arriaga Photography
Unknowingly, my husband and I have started something in our home that I hope never goes away:
WE HUG AND KISS OUR BOYS EVERY DAY
When they were tiny newborns and even babies under the age or one or two, it’s such a simple thing to do, right?! The snuggles are frequent and always called for. But now, with a pre-teen and very independent middle child, snuggles or a ‘just-because’ hug can seem daunting. We’ve made it a point to always give each other hugs and a kiss on the cheek when we leave for the day or leave to go anywhere really. It may take us a while with five people in the house, but it’s something that is a constant in our family.
My husband leaves for work in the morning while they are all eating breakfast and shuffling around the house, but everyone gets a hug and kiss before he’s out the door. If I have to go run an errand, no matter if it’s 30 minutes or perhaps three hours, everyone is getting a hug and kiss as I walk out the door.
It may seem silly that I’m even writing about this, but the way I see it is that as I get older and realize that any moment or any tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, I do this one loving thing for the people who mean the most to me. I can’t imaging how I’d feel if something tragic were to ever happen (because let’s face it, that is the world we live in) and I didn’t use the three seconds it takes to give my kids a tight hug and kiss on the cheek. Even if I’m just running to the grocery store, the gym, or when they’re upset about something (this last one pertains to the pre-teen).
There has been much research done on the effects of hugging and what it does for stress level, mood, and even the immune system. So, although I practice this in my home everyday as a way to show my kids I love them and how I’d like their relationships with us as parents and them as brothers, it really is something that science has proven that physical affection is beneficial to both the brain and the nervous system. I’m not looking forward to the day that one of them does not want to receive a hug or a peck on the cheek, but I hope that we’ve made it such a regular practice that that day will never come. Here’s what I do every single day with my three boys:
- Hug them.
- Kiss them.
- Tell them I love them.
- Tell them how proud I am of them.
- Every single day.
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