The other day I was cleaning out my purse, and at the very bottom found a bunch of dollar bills. Instead of keeping them for when I needed cash in my purse, I split them between my two kid’s piggy banks. My toddler doesn’t know the difference, but I made sure to let my older daughter know I put some free money in her savings jar. She looked at me with a blank face and quickly looked back at the television. I approached her and repeated myself, and the response I received was an abrupt, “I heard you the first time!” I let out a sigh and made my way to my tasks at hand, only to look up and see the look on my husband’s face.
“You’re going to let her keep the money after that attitude?” he smirked.
“Well, I want her to save money for our vacation,” I responded. “I know, you think I’m a bad mom.”
“I don’t think you’re a bad mom at all, you’re a great mom,” he said.
“So, I’m a great mom but a bad parent?”
He laughed and walked away, but we both knew that classification was spot on. 
It’s true. I’m not great at taking advantage of opportunities to teach my kids lessons. I often choose bribery (e.g., cookies and chocolate for breakfast) simply to avoid major meltdowns. My kids usually get a toy they want (within reason) when we go to Target for groceries because I can’t say no or I just want them to sit in the cart and be quiet. Does that teach them the value of a dollar and the reality that we do not get what we want all of the time? NOPE.
I let my 5-year-old sleep in our bed every night, even though I spend the day reminding her that tonight is the night she goes to bed in her own room. But when bedtime rolls around, I am too tired and have too many other things to do than help her fall asleep in her own bed. I ask my kids what they want for dinner and 8/10 times I deliver because I would rather them actually eat than encourage/force them to try different foods and end up throwing away an entire plate they just pushed around.
Do my kids love all of this? Of course. Am I making the most of every teachable moment? Definitely not.
But am I turning them into bad humans? I don’t personally think so, and here’s why:
- First of all, my kids are young and we have plenty of time to work on manners, the value of money, developing a mature food palate, and I can pretty much bet my life that my daughter won’t still be sleeping in my bed when she’s in high school.
- Secondly, I never allow rude behavior in public. It’s one thing to have an attitude with mom, but it’s a whole other story to be disrespectful and not use please and thank you to neighbors, teachers, etc.
- Finally, we’ve all heard the quotes, seen the memes, and experienced it firsthand…when you have small children, more often than not it’s close to a miracle that we all simply make it through the day unscathed.
So, excuse me while I go whip up some pancakes for my daughter’s dinner, boil a hot dog for my son, and serve my husband some hot, from-scratch sloppy joes that I spent all of nap time making, even though only half of us will touch it. Then, I’ll run them a bath, clean up the kitchen while they run around the house naked eating dessert,probably ice cream that they’ll eat while jumping back and forth from the couch to ottoman (yes, I will give in and allow my daughter to have ice cream AFTER pancakes), and when my daughter refuses to stay in her room tonight, I’ll make up a bed for her next to me on the couch while I work late into the night because although I may not have taught them all of the important life lessons today, I was with them all day. And that’s what I think they will remember most at this stage.
