A few weeks ago, I was shopping with my four-year-old son. In his ultra-observant way, he complimented our cashier on her “necklace,” which, unbeknownst to him, was actually a tattoo made to look like a necklace. She rolled her eyes and muttered that it was a tattoo, NOT a necklace. (I repeat: IT WAS CLEARLY INTENDED TO LOOK LIKE A NECKLACE.) When my son innocently asked her the natural follow-up question: “Why did you get a tattoo like that?” she all but yelled back, “I don’t KNOW; I just wanted it!”
My son took the cue and dropped his head, asking me sadly what he said wrong as we walked away. I couldn’t imagine why the cashier would have been so offended by a child’s innocent inquisitiveness.
The whole thing got me thinking, and I realized that we live in a society that is walking on eggshells. ANY situation seems like it has the potential to be offensive, and quite honestly, it’s exhausting.
Don’t get me wrong, there are circumstances that, without question, people are being demoralized, misinterpreted, and misrepresented. And I’m thankful for those who are working tirelessly for these causes.
But this is not what I’m talking about.
I’m talking about our immediate reflex to voice our dissatisfaction with someone else’s choices, someone else’s opinions, or when something simply doesn’t go our way.
We’re offended that our coffee is too hot. We’re offended that our coffee is not hot enough. (Or has too much ice…this was a real lawsuit.)
We’re offended by the organizations that our favorite coffee shops and chicken restaurants may or may not support.
Classic holiday songs are now regarded as having questionable meanings.
We can’t even agree on whether we should sit, stand, or kneel in honor of the amazing country that we just so happen to be lucky enough to live in.
And this plays out in motherhood just as much as anywhere….
The working moms are offended by the stay-at-home moms and the stay-at-home-moms are offended by the working moms.
Epidural moms are offended by natural birth moms and breastfeeders shame the formula feeders.
We’re offended that a certain mom put too much effort into team snacks. We’re offended that another mom didn’t put enough effort into team snacks.
We’re offended by the helicopter moms; we’re offended by the hands-off moms.
Don’t even get me started on the Vaccination Wars. (The comments on either side of this topic will leave you confused and disheartened.)
In a culture that supposedly celebrates freedom of choice, I feel like I’m constantly second guessing that my own choices and opinions may somehow, some way, offend someone.
While I do want to be informed and sensitive, I choose to wear blinders in some situations. I can’t possibly (nor do I want to) spend all my energy analyzing the motives and the “rightness” or “wrongness” of everyone else’s actions. Fighting for a cause a good thing, but sometimes I feel like we are fighting just to fight.
If we’re so zoned into the “wrong” in front of us, we will miss the “right in front of us”.
I don’t want to be so sucked in to “comments” that I can’t hear the voice of the little blessings at my feet.
Instead, I will thank that barista for the caffeine that will fuel my day, enjoy the craft store that feeds my pumpkin obsession, sing along with Michael Buble, and happily take my children into any public restroom that is available.
I will encourage ALL THE MAMAS regardless of how that precious little angel got here, because children are a gift, and motherhood is HARD. And I’ll be happy to bring the team snacks…but I’m warning you…it’ll probably be Goldfish.
