Mom to Mom is a series featuring real moms from around the Collin County area. Here they volunteer to share their personal experiences and opinions to bring forth transparency among our community of moms so we can all connect through our shared moments of joy, pain, and all that in between. When reading, please remember that nobody is perfect. We all have different opinions and circumstances, so we ask that you respect the moms who have decided to share. I hope that through this, you find comfort in knowing that you are not alone and that we are all connected in some way.
Meet Angela. She is the beautiful mother of four children: three boys and one girl. She homeschools her children except for Tay (the oldest), who is now in public school for sixth grade. Syah, her daughter, was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at a young age. Her other boys, Xavion and DJ, are total sweethearts and probably future heartthrobs (good luck, mom!). Besides taking care of her kids, Angela works at her church and co-manages her daughter’s soccer team with her husband, who is the coach. She is basically winning at mommyhood.
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TAMI (CCMB): So you have four kids. Did you plan on having a big family?
ANGELA: Well, I had a sister growing up, and I always wanted a big family. We had our first, Taylun, and there was a point that first year where I thought, “I’m good with just Tay.” I didn’t know if I wanted to have more, but then we had Syah. None of our kids were planned.
TAMI (CCMB): That’s life for you.
ANGELA: It is. I had two miscarriages in the midst of all that. After I had Tay, it would have been a year after him, that I experienced [my first] miscarriage. Then I had Syah, then Xavion, and a year after him, I had my [second] miscarriage on Valentine’s Day. I found out I was pregnant with DJ that September. At that point when I had the miscarriage, I was obviously emotional about it. I thought, “OK, I’m just content with just having three kids. I think this is how it was meant to be,” so when I found out I was pregnant with DJ after the miscarriage…he’s the only one I think I cried about. It was emotional.
TAMI (CCMB): Like a blessing? Or were you scared?
ANGELA: I think scared and also thinking, “Oh my goodness, what if I lose this one, too?” He was definitely a blessing. They’re all a blessing. You always kind of think back and wonder what it would be like, I don’t know…God just doesn’t make mistakes. Everything happens for a reason.
TAMI (CCMB): I don’t think you ever forget the ones you lost. I think it’s always in the back of your mind. You wonder what kind of person they would have been.
ANGELA: Exactly.
TAMI (CCMB): So when you got pregnant after the first miscarriage, were you terrified?
ANGELA: With Syah, they considered it a high-risk pregnancy because I had the miscarriage. But there were absolutely no problems with her and no problems with Xavion, so when I had the second miscarriage, it was kind of a shock. Like oh, my goodness, I didn’t think that would happen again, but it did. I don’t know why. Not that the other one wasn’t tough but with this one, I was more emotional.
TAMI (CCMB): So definitely a different stage of your life when the second miscarriage happened?
ANGELA: Yeah, and I was so excited. I was young when I had Tay.
TAMI (CCMB): That makes sense. You get to a point where you’re just ready. It’s less fear and more happiness.
ANGELA: Yeah, it’s a more joyous time.
TAMI (CCMB): Did you feel like you could talk to family or friends about it? I guess for a lot of women, they feel like they shouldn’t or are uncomfortable discussing it.
ANGELA: I guess I didn’t want to share it at the time. I spoke to my husband about it, but even with family, I didn’t want to speak about it. It’s easier to talk about it now.
TAMI (CCMB): How did you find out about Syah’s diabetes? Was she born with it? And how did you cope with it?
ANGELA: She was not born with it. They say that it’s genetic and something in the environment triggers your pancreas to stop working. She was three months shy of her fourth birthday, and I was seven months pregnant at the time with Xavion. She had lost weight and was constantly thirsty. She started having accidents as far as going to the restroom, which never happened before. So I was kind of wondering what was going on. I was watching the NBA finals and a commercial came on, and it listed all the symptoms of type 1 diabetes. I was like, “Oh my goodness, she has every symptom.” I made an appointment with the doctor and went in. They checked her blood sugar and it was over 500. She had ketones, which meant she was going into diabetic ketoacidosis (DKA), but normally kids are extremely sick to the point where they are unconscious and almost in a coma. She had symptoms going on but she could still play so it was like she was OK. They were really shocked that we recognized the symptoms because that’s the thing, a lot of people don’t recognize it, and it gets much worse. We were automatically sent to Children’s, where she spent a week. I was seven months pregnant and sleeping in the hospital with her. Children’s has great people working there.
TAMI (CCMB): Did you struggle when you first found out about her diabetes?
ANGELA: It’s a total lifestyle change. You start carb-counting and looking up portion sizes, and you’re looking at ingredients, and that changed my life because I’m totally an ingredient-label-reading snob now. I’m reading everything. Like I’ve become a total natural wellness advocate, so to speak. There are so many things that we don’t use anymore. There’s food we were eating before, but we don’t anymore. And it’s hard because she’s little. You’re pricking her finger a dozen times a day and she’s getting half a dozen shots. She doesn’t understand why and so it’s hard, especially being pregnant and expecting your third, and feeling overwhelmed; but once you get past that stage, it becomes normal and routine. You adjust to it and honestly, we are so much healthier now because of it.
TAMI (CCMB): Does Syah struggle with being different?
ANGELA: Syah still struggles with that. She has moments where she will just break down and cry. She says that she’s not normal. She went to diabetes camp, but she’s not actively around people who have diabetes every day, so she feels different. While kids may want to indulge on ice cream or cupcakes or candy, she can’t do that. She went to the movies a few days ago and she has to call. She gets a box of Sour Patch Kids and it’s like OK, count out eleven or count out twelve and you have to do this much insulin and then you have to put it up and you can’t eat anymore. And you know there’s no soda. We’re drinking water. So she still struggles, but she’s so brave. She has gotten to the point now where she can give herself her own shots. She’s very knowledgeable about what she can and can’t have. Obviously, she indulges every now and then. She just handles it so well. I don’t know if anybody handles it as well as she does. She has her moments of being sad about being different, but she doesn’t let that define her. She’s a warrior.
TAMI (CCMB): How did you decide to start the soccer team for Syah?
ANGELA: Well, we signed her up to play soccer because that’s what she was interested in and we got an e-mail that there was no coach. They needed a volunteer. We had actually talked about it before because my husband grew up playing soccer. He’s very knowledgeable about the sport, so when we got the e-mail, we knew it was just meant to be. We’re going on I guess our third year, about eight or 10 seasons. She loves it, and I think it’s good for her and keeps her active. She’s made so many good friends through it, and it’s a good bonding thing for her and her dad. She loves that her dad is the coach.
TAMI (CCMB): Besides dealing with her diabetes, what is one of your biggest struggles with parenting?
ANGELA: You have to learn to multitask and you have to learn to have patience. Everybody wants your attention and obviously, you can’t give your undivided attention to everyone at the same exact time, but having a big family is a lot of fun. There’s always something going on, always someone wanting a hug.
TAMI (CCMB): How did you get into homeschooling?
ANGELA: Tay went to Kindergarten at a public school and had a good experience. I had always thought about homeschooling. I know a lot of people who were doing it so when you have the support like that, it makes it easier because homeschooling can be challenging. There’s a lot of work involved but a lot of rewards as well. The summer after he finished Kindergarten was when Syah was diagnosed, and I was pregnant. We decided to switch things up and we’re going on our sixth year of homeschool. Tay is a sixth grader in public school now. We decided we were ready to do something a little different with him. We take each year at a time. Each kid is different, so while he decided to go back to public school for sixth grade, we might not do that with every kid.
TAMI (CCMB): What made you choose to homeschool?
ANGELA: You get to basically tailor your kids’ education. When you’re in a classroom setting and I’m not knocking the classroom setting, but you have one teacher and possibly twenty kids. It’s hard to give every kid attention; where if they’re struggling in an area, you can sit there and stay on that until they master it. You’re forced to move as a group, so if you haven’t learned it yet, then the kid is kind of left behind or struggling. With homeschool, nobody knows your kid better than you do as a parent. If you’re teaching them and notice they’re struggling with something, you can take the time to learn it and focus on that before moving on. There are benefits to both, but we really like homeschooling.
TAMI (CCMB): What are your kids’ personalities like and do they get along well?
ANGELA: My oldest has always been mature for his age. He’s just so easy-going and so loving and an emotional kid. He goes with the flow and is very considerate. He’s always thinking of others and loving on his siblings even when they are mean to him. Xavion just turned five. He’s kind of…it’s a transition right now with me working a little bit. He and Syah are more like my spitfires. They’re very strong-willed, stubborn and can butt heads. DJ, the youngest, reminds me of Tay. He’s kind of easy-going and always laughing. He is very loving. They all handle life well, but they also help take care of each other. They complement each other. They all have their differences, but there are similarities in their personalities as well.
TAMI (CCMB): Do you have any advice for the mothers out there whether it’s about dealing with a child who has a medical condition or homeschooling or just raising four kids?
ANGELA: It gets easier. You’re always going to have your tougher and more challenging days, and you’re not always going to feel as patient at times as maybe you should. But every day is a blessing and everyone has their own parenting style. As far as diabetes or any type of disorder health-wise, it can be very scary and traumatic in the beginning. It does get easier. Because it’s such a huge lifestyle change, you adjust, but you’re always adjusting because life is always going to throw you curve balls and you get through it.
TAMI (CCMB): What are you most proud of as a mom or even just as a woman?
ANGELA: I guess just my family, my children. I grew up and my parents were divorced and got remarried multiple times. My husband and I have been together 13 years, and we’re celebrating 10 years of marriage this year and to have four beautiful kids and to just be so committed to each other as a family, I don’t know, I feel like it’s just a blessing after coming from a home that was dysfunctional.
TAMI (CCMB): What’s something you want to tell your children? Something they may see in the future from maybe reading this interview?
ANGELA: How much I love all of them. Sometimes when you’re going through life and you have all these things on your to-do list, it may feel like to them, “mom is so busy” or “ah, she’s giving my sister or brother all the attention.” I just think they’re all amazing human beings. They were created with their unique personalities and they each contribute so much to this world in different ways, and I just love them so much. And to always keep God first and always be there for their family.
