Parenting During Crisis: We Got This, Mamas!

Confession: I’m just doing the best I can. And that’s enough.

I’m no stranger to parenting in crisis mode. Fifteen years ago, my husband passed away suddenly, leaving me alone with three young kids and no life insurance. I was terrified.

There’s no manual for how to parent when the worst happens. The best piece of advice I received at that time, and I’ve held onto ever since was, “Just do the best you can. If you can only give your kids 30 minutes, give them 30 minutes. Just give the best you can and it will multiply.”

Mamas, I have good news. My kids turned out fine.

My oldest is now 24. She graduated from Texas A&M a few years ago, started a job in San Antonio right after graduation, and is successfully adulting. My middle is a senior in high school. He got accepted to the college of his choice, works a part-time job, and occasionally still says “I love you, too” in public. My youngest is a freshman. She’s all the sweetness and light the youngest should be in just the right measure.

Yes, we have struggles. Yes, we have issues (trust me!). But we’re fine. None of the things I worried about when I was in the heat of my crisis happened. And even if they had, we would have been ok because we met tough times with togetherness. Friends and family rallied around us. Our community supported us.

You know, kind of like what’s happening in our communities today. It’s a wonder. And it works.

My friend, Bradi McGregor, mom to Knox (5) and Audrey (8), says, “My biggest challenge right now is balancing three different schedules. Along with my preschooler, I also have a 3rd grader and I teach 8th grade. Our “school table” in the kitchen has a wide variety of materials on it at any given time. But the anticipation of the first week at home during the pandemic was much scarier than it turned out to be. The first time we all sat down together, we were able to work for over an hour without any frustrations.”

Even in the struggle there are little victories. Hold onto them. Build on them. They will multiply.

Bradi’s parenting during crisis tip to moms: “Spend this time learning through play and everyday life skills. Involve your child in the daily basics (dressing, making bed, chores, cooking, etc.) and explain what, how, and why you’re doing what you’re doing. You’ve just created an interactive day of learning! Your child’s SAT scores, college admittance, or future career is not dependent on these moments. If you do nothing else to ‘teach’ your preschooler at home, just focus on reading with them every day. That’s the absolute best thing you can do!”

No matter what age or stage your kids are in, we’re all in unchartered waters. Christina Crafton, mom to Tristan (13), Layla (9) and Channing (4), says the biggest challenge with tweens is “having to repeat, repeat, repeat … just like with toddlers!”

Christina’s advice: “Laugh a lot. It’s hard at every stage. Every stage is different and every child is different. I would tell any mom who is struggling to hang in there. This is all temporary so just roll with it. Love your children and your life in the moment.”

There’s no manual for how to parent in a pandemic. Be present over perfect. I promise you, and I know it’s true, if you’re doing the best you can, it’s enough.