My 10-month-old baby is laying on my lap, head on my thigh. She barely looks like a baby anymore, and I can already imagine how she’ll look like as a toddler, and in a weird sort of way, when she’s an adult. My 9-year-old is asleep in her room. We cleaned out most of her toys this past weekend, leaving only Barbies for play, to create more room for when she needs teenager things. When did we get to this point? How did time fly by so quickly?
I’ve decided recently to make a more conscious effort in being present in my children’s lives. What does this mean exactly? Being present, to me, means giving someone your full attention. This seems obvious but in a time filled with information overload and technology, sometimes it’s harder than you may think.
What steps am I taking to do create more presence and connection?
1. Putting down the phone.
I’ve deleted the Facebook app off my phone and turned off my Instagram notifications. This forces me to find time for social media away from my phone, and typically, this ends up being about ten minutes at night after my girls have gone to bed. This way, I’m not bothered by notifications or the temptation to check them when I’m with my kids. I think we all have this tendency to check things right away and this kind of prevents you from constantly doing that and therefore, allows for uninterrupted time with your family.
2. Placing more value on dinnertime.
We’re trying to be a lot stricter about sharing meal times together especially dinner at night. Sometimes when I’m being lazy and not wanting to cook or our schedules are off, everyone kind of eats at their own pace or sits in front of the TV to eat. But with our busy schedules with work, activity, and school work, dinner is the best time for us to really sit down and discuss our day with one another. Because of this, I’m really trying to be diligent about having dinner at the table the days we can.
3. Eliminating background noise.
I find that a lot times, my family has the TV on in the background just because. Ever since doing this, I’ve noticed that we’ll fill that silence with conversation. I’m usually on the floor watching my baby while she plays, my oldest will sit next to me and do her homework, and my husband is either sitting next to us or washing the dishes. Instead of just sitting there listening to the TV, we all talk and just enjoy each other’s company.
I can’t express enough how much this added presence in my children’s lives has helped my family’s relationships. I feel like all of us have bonded more and been able to communicate better. I’ve also been able to better appreciate watching them grow and strangely, remember certain moments a lot clearer. I don’t know if you’re like me and looking for ways to be more present in your children’s life, or maybe you already do and have other great ideas. If so, I hope this helps you or that you share your ideas, too!
