It’s that time of year when everyone is all a-flutter with New Year’s resolutions. Everyone’s talking about getting in shape, eating healthier, reading more books, and other varying methods of self improvement. But when you’re a mom of toddlers, the reality is, there’s no time for improvement. Survival is the name of the game. 

Someday, I’ll get back to my lofty goals, filled with ambition and culture and health, but for now, I’ve gotta lower the bar. Like, way down. Keeping tiny humans alive and well uses up about 90% of what I’ve got, and the remaining 10% has to be divvied up between family, friends, work, and myself – which means I end up with approximately 0.02% of my own energy dedicated to myself. So if I’m going to claim any kind of accomplishment this year, I’ve got to be realistic with my resolutions!

New Year’s Resolutions for Toddler Moms

1. Eat more chicken (nuggets).

We all already do it – nibbling off our kids’ plates while we force-feed them the most delicious foods on earth (chicken nuggets, corn dogs, mac ‘n cheese) – so this year, I’m going to embrace it. I’m not going to even pretend I’ll make myself a real, nutritive meal once I get the kids to bed. I’m just gonna microwave a plate of chicken nuggets and mac ‘n cheese right next to theirs, and call it a win. Besides, chicken is healthy, right?

2. Sit less.

An old coworker once told me that sitting is the new smoking. So good news – this is a healthy lifestyle change I can accomplish (albeit, reluctantly). Between my three-year-old doing everything in his power to maim himself on a daily basis, and my nine-month-old putting everything and anything in her mouth, sitting is not an option, ever.

3. Drink more coffee.

Hear me out. Everyone knows how important it is to drink water. And coffee is basically just water that’s been filtered…through coffee beans. With sugar. And creamer…IT COUNTS.

4. Sleep less.

I mean, I know I’m not going to be getting more sleep, so I might as well commit to sleeping less, and feel like I’ve accomplished something when that happens.

5. Wash more clothes.

Look, we know “less laundry” is not a real thing that’s ever going to happen, despite how much moms everywhere beg and plead for it to be. So let’s make the idea of “more laundry” a positive thing, shall we? Here’s how to do it: get more clothes. For yourself. I know, it’s a radical thought! I haven’t gotten new, non-maternity clothes in at least half a decade, so maybe this is the year I’ll actually buy myself a new wardrobe, instead of just my kids. *Sprints to the mall before my kids have their next growth spurt* 

6. Do less.

For real, though. For some reason, as moms, we feel like we can’t say “no” to anyone, ever (except our kids, of course – Lord knows we tell them “no” all day long). It’s mom guilt at its finest. Because if we decline to participate in something, then obviously that means we’re inept at motherhood. And obviously no one else has trouble finding time and energy, because just look at all the perfect moms I see when I’m scrolling through my Instagram feed! (*…Aaaand cue eye roll.*) No more. This year, I will not succumb to the pressure to do all the things. I will not attend every party invitation that shows up in my mailbox, or volunteer for every event/favor/activity that lands in my text messages, or tackle every problem that falls in my lap. If it’s not a “Heck, yes!” it’s a “no.”

My New Year’s resolutions may not be the most impressive this year, but they are attainable, and at this phase of my life, that’s all that matters. My toddlers throw enough challenges into my day-to-day life, there’s no need to add more just for the sake of change.