Actual Self-Care Sneaks For EVERY Mom

I have a confession: I legitimately cringe when I hear the term “self-care.” It feels pretentious and self-centered, right? But here’s the thing that took me over a decade of parenting to realize: It’s actually the exact opposite of all that.

I am a pediatric sleep consultant, so I spend a lot of time every day talking to very, very tired moms. By the time they’ve enlisted my help, their tanks aren’t just on empty—the fuel light is flashing, and the car is beginning to slow to a full stop. They’ve been pouring from an empty cup for months or years and have done little to nothing to replenish themselves. 

I get it…I was there for a long time. And the hard truth is that I completely burned out. I thought that by constantly giving all I had to others, I was serving them well. But I learned the hard way that by not allowing myself any margin to take care of myself—physically, emotionally, and mentally—I was not actually serving anyone. I was offering them an empty version of myself, and it wasn’t healthy. 

So, a decade into this parenting gig, I’ve finally gotten creative and found several ways to sneak small snippets of self-care into my day. 

Wake Up Before the Kids

You saw this one coming, right? This is the most difficult for me, but it’s absolutely essential. Moms, if you do legitimately ONE THING this week for your mental health, GET UP BEFORE YOUR KIDS.

I once heard a MOPS speaker who encouraged this, and she got up at 4:30am. If you can do the 4:30 or 5am thing, great! Enjoy those quiet hours! For me, that’s a hard pass, but I can do 6:45 before the 7am wakeups. Even just 10 minutes early to get a few sips of coffee in while it’s still hot and to take some deep breaths can go far in boosting my mood. 

Nature Before the World

I heard a tip on a podcast a few years ago that said taking a step outside first thing in the morning before picking up any sort of electronic device was a mood booster, and holy smokes, is it ever. It’s so tempting for me to open my eyes and reach for the nightstand to grab my phone first, but that does nothing to set the stage well for my day.

In those handful of minutes where I am up before the morning rush begins, I like to get outside and take a look at the sky. It’s beautiful, obviously, but it also gives me a sense of perspective. It reminds me how small I am and how big the world is, and it reminds me to zoom out when the weight of the world seems to fall on my shoulders. It’s a small thing that goes a long way.

The Naptime Timer

If you have a child at home young enough to still take a nap or two, count your blessings! This is my absolutely favorite time of day, and I’m always tempted to cram every single item from my to-do list into those 90 minutes.

But I want to encourage you to use the timer on your phone, and for the first maybe 10–15 (if you can spare it), do something for you. Maybe that’s 10 minutes of a podcast or 10 minutes of yoga or 10 minutes to read. Maybe it’s a 10-minute walk or a few minutes of working a puzzle or a quiet cup of hot coffee. Maybe it’s a quick hello to your mom on the phone or a shameless 10 minutes on Instagram.

Whatever it is for you, do it! The next hour you have will be so much more productive, I promise! If you want to take it a step further, schedule yourself one day of the week where the whole naptime is JUST FOR YOU. Where it’s not just the first ten minutes but the entire nap that you take the time to do something relaxing you enjoy. It’s not selfish; it’s preventing burnout! 

The Twofer

I’m an Enneagram 3, so efficiency comes very naturally to me. But if you’re not, consider how you can combine something you have to do with something you want to do. Maybe that’s lifting weights while watching Paw Patrol with your toddler. Or taking the long way to the park for a little extra exercise before playtime. Could you pop in your earbuds and listen to an audiobook while doing the dishes? Whatever you can do to bring some joy into the mundane, do it!

Schedule Regular Dates with Your Spouse (Or Solo!)

I’m saving this one for last because it’s most likely the hardest thing for us to do, but we NEED to ask for help, mamas. Reach out to that college girl or ask your church nursery for a list of recommendations if you don’t have family or regular babysitters nearby. Find a friend with children close to the same age as yours and trade off Friday morning playdates. Allowing someone else to care for your kids for a brief moment to nurture your marriage, get some work done in a coffee shop, or simply roam the aisles of Target solo (BLISS) is the furthest thing from selfish. You’ll return from any of those scenarios more focused, more relaxed, and more present.

Giving the best version of yourself to those you love is truly a gift. We’ve got to stop glamorizing busyness and burnout, mamas. It’s not serving us and it’s certainly not serving our families. Taking care of yourself matters, so make time for it today!