The bedtime routine. For many babies it’s a critical component of successful sleep. Common steps include bathtime, reading books, singing songs, collecting the right blankets, turning on sound machines, rocking and snuggling. I often find myself either rushing through it so I can finally sit down for the day or savoring the moment because they grow up so fast. This typical routine can continue for the first couple of years of your baby’s life. But then they start to grow up and their bedtime routine starts to change.
As I was putting my six-year-old to bed the other night, I found myself thinking about her bedtime routine. It came about naturally. We never really talked about what it would look like. It’s simple on the surface. But tonight as I reflected on it, I realized its significance not only to my daughter but to me.
Each night, either my husband or I lay on her bed next to her. Usually, the first question is, “What was your favorite part of the day?” followed by “Was there anything hard about your day?” The answers to these questions can lead different places. Somehow, in the quiet of bedtime, her thoughts and feelings come more freely. It’s a time for us to talk about things that happened during the day and how she can solve problems that come her way.
Then she usually asks for an “imagination” story. These were started by my husband and he is an expert at them. I consider myself a fairly accomplished picture book reader. Imaginative storyteller is not on my list of strengths, in my opinion. However, my daughter never seems to mind my stories. They always end with “Wow, that’s so cool” or something to that effect.
Lastly, we lay quietly for a few minutes. No talking, just lying there. One time she described it as, “Mom, when you’re next to me, my body feels calm. When you leave, it’s not.” That has always stayed with me and most nights, it is remembering that that encourages me to stay an extra minute. Because the time will come when she is even older and her bedtime routine, or lack thereof, will look much different than it does now.
For her, our bedtime routine is that time of day where she can calm her active body, share her thoughts and feelings, and feel safe with the ones who love her most close beside her. I’m not always perfect at it, but I hope I can always remember the significance of those few moments at the end of the day.
