To the sleep-deprived mom who can’t see the light:
I’m living proof that newborn night feedings and pump schedules will, in fact, come to an anticlimactic end. Sleep deprivation can ruin a psyche. It can ruin a marriage. It brings out the worst. Quite frankly, it can dredge up feelings of incompetence, inadequacy, sadness, and hopelessness. When I’m sleep deprived, I feel myself unravel. I question my parenting, which happens to be awesome by the way—just like yours.
When you feel like you have lost all control, read this and believe it:
This too shall pass. Babies don’t keep. You will sleep again.
I’m not a sleep expert or a coach. I’m simply a mom who lived through the gritty, sleepless nights, with a lot of those hours spent on Google searching:
“4-month sleep regression”
“why won’t my good sleeper sleep”
“5-month sleep regression”
“baby falls asleep standing”
This too shall pass. And until it passes, here are a few tweaks we’ve made to our kids’ bedtime routine to get them sleeping through the night.
Nine Tips to Encourage Better Sleep
1. Leave all the lights ON during your bedtime routine. Only when it’s time to sleep do you turn off the lights. It somehow acts as a cue to their little cycles and off to dreamland they go.
2. Tell them it’s bedtime. I once had a friend who said, “Just tell her it’s time to go to sleep.” Sounds so easy! It worked for them; it did not work for us, but maybe it will for you.
3. Blackout shades or curtains.
4. Projector and/or sound machine.
5. Solid bedtime routine: bath, lotion, brush teeth, potty, read, rock, pray, sing, pat. Whew! Exhausting, but with consistency, it can work.
6. Have Daddy give it a try. Sometimes just the simple switch in energy can help ease tension and frustration.
7. Changes in bedding, lovies, or room arrangement. When my daughter started sleeping through the night, we added bumpers to her crib and a special sleep blanket. We also moved her crib so that it didn’t directly face the door.
8. Get expert help. There are local companies who can help with sleep training like Newborn Nightingales or Sweet Dreams Infant Care. Expect to spend anywhere from $150-$500 depending on packages offered.
9. Take the path of least resistance. When all else fails, this is my fail-safe strategy. It’s the hardest because when I go here, I have to swallow my ego and admit a complete surrender of control. Sometimes I hold my babies until they fall asleep. Sometimes my husband brings our son into our bed. Sometimes I load everyone into the car and drive around for the better part of the 7pm hour—because sleep regressions, because teething, because a healthy fear of the dark and monsters, because some days we need an easy button.
Hold your child close because being needed 24/7 ends, I hear. I can’t pinpoint the date when my son stopped nursing to sleep, but he’s three now and has outgrown that part of me. I can’t pinpoint the date when my daughter stopped co-sleeping, but that has expired, too.
This too shall pass.
