As the holiday season gets underway and our calendars fill up and all those cute traditions start showing up on our calendar, let’s give ourselves permission to say no. I mean it.
Every year, this season overwhelms. I can see it coming in August as the school year begins. I can feel it coming when September hits and pumpkin spice becomes everything. My anxiety builds as I watch my calendar fill up. October brings Halloween and pumpkin patches and costumes and fall decor and suddenly I’m planning Thanksgiving and talking Christmas plans and I can’t wait for the break I will finally get in January!
The thing is, all these activities are good; they’re fun, family oriented, full of friends, and memory building. But the problem is, there’s just too much. Too much pressure, too much to do, too many obligations, too many things. I get stressed, my family is running from activity to activity, and at the end of the day I look up and realize I miss my husband.
It happens every year: I realize I’m too busy with all the activities and I need to take a step back and slow things down. It’s ironic that I pick the busiest time of year to slow down but it also seems like the most obvious time to do it.
Tips for a Slow Christmas
- Don’t worry about filling up your calendar and doing all. the. things.
- What are your favorite traditions? What do you look back and enjoy when you remember this time during the rest of the year? What makes your kids the happiest?
- What activities make you feel closer to your spouse? Closer as a family?
- Do only these things, and say no to the rest.
I know, thinking about saying no to all those obligations and activities might give you some anxiety or FOMO, but just try it for one year. I promise, all these things will still be available to do next year! Give yourself this one season to try to SLOW things down. See what happens. You can always go back to everything next year.
I’ve found that my kids are happier, my spouse is happier, and I am MUCH happier when I’m not stressed about trying to fit it all in. I have to learn to give myself some grace to just enjoy the moment. It doesn’t have to be perfect. I don’t have to get the perfect picture. It might not even show up on my Instagram/blog/Facebook. But it was perfect for us. We laughed, we enjoyed each other, and we went home happy!
Enjoying a Slow Christmas with Kids
- Pick something that sounds enjoyable for the whole family. If you know your kids will love it, make sure you will, too, or at least that you will enjoy watching them do. Or find something that will be fun for all of you For us, my husband and I love looking at Christmas lights so we do that every year.
- Be present while you’re doing it. Leave your phone/email/social media at home. Or commit to only using your phone to capture pictures. Be calm, enjoy the moment, and laugh and play with your kids.
- Evaluate your ‘why’. Is this an obligation? Something you’ve convinced yourself you have to do because everyone else is? If it’s a family obligation, maybe you can try to find a compromise. Perhaps you can arrange to have Christmas morning at your home and then go to the family Christmas party in the afternoon?
When you look at your childhood memories, I’m guessing you’ll be as surprised as I was to find that the memories you cherish the most aren’t from the big events and activities your parents planned. The best memories are from the little moments when something silly happened or something out of the ordinary occurred.
Pick your one or two top hits of the season and focus on those as you approach your slow Christmas. And let me know how it goes in the comments or on my blog at SouthernMercy. I’ll be cheering you on.
