As soon as I discovered what affirmations were, I made a commitment to say them out loud in front of my bathroom mirror with gusto every morning. But I quickly noticed that as soon as I left my bathroom and got into the busyness of getting my toddler and middle schooler out the door, that the feeling of empowerment that I felt in front of the bathroom mirror faded away. The chaos of the morning rush was still the same. I felt cheated.
The “experts” said that affirmations would make my life “full of abundance” and make me feel like a “new-and-improved mom.” Was this whole affirmation thing really just wishful thinking? A cute catchphrase? I was ready to throw in the towel on the whole affirmation practice and chalk it up to one of those things that work for some but not all.
But inside I couldn’t let it go; I was stuck on making this work. So as I do when I find myself stuck on anything, I pursued a way to become unstuck. I jumped on Google for answers. I researched affirmations and its origins and better ways to apply them. “I’m the best mom for my kids” or “ I am enough” are two parenting affirmations that I noticed were mentioned frequently, so I decided to focus on those two.
Now affirmation naysayers will tell you, and rightly so, that while both statements sound very empowering and motivating, just saying and/or writing those affirmations down would not actually change my present circumstances or thoughts.
The Applied ”Magic” of Affirmations
So what would cause change? I discovered that the “magic” of affirmations is not in the words but in the applied action behind the words. Awareness and intention have to work hand in hand to produce my desired outcome. It wouldn’t be a life cure-all, but I would begin to see improvements in the areas of my life that I had control over. Believing first that what I was saying to myself was possible. Then being intentional and laser focused on the action I was going to take to affirm that belief. This was the missing link to my daily bathroom mirror recitations.
Do The Work
I could say “I am enough” seven times a day, but if I didn’t BELIEVE first that I was truly enough regardless of whether the laundry got done that day or a home-cooked meal was on the table, then it didn’t matter what I said because my unbelief was telling me otherwise. I had to do some inner work to get to the root of why I didn’t feel adequate enough as a mom.
I highly encourage you to do the inner work. Talk with a trusted friend or a talk therapist. Find a book or podcast on the area you are struggling in. Journal. Ugly cry. Pray. Meditate. Do the work and build back up that faith and hope in yourself and who you are.
This shift in my belief that I was enough as a mom and the tools I had acquired through doing the inner work caused an effect on my mood, my mindset, and my attitude. I no longer beat myself up mentally when life wasn’t a 100 percent perfect. I gave myself grace when I had to leave the dishes and laundry to focus on helping my middle schooler with her project or do the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Hot Dog dance with my toddler in the middle of the kitchen floor. I felt a load lift off of me as I simplified my calendar and only committed to things that were important to my family and me.
I Am Enough
The biggest test of my newfound applied action was asking for help: help from my husband, my family members, my friends.
Letting go of this preconceived notion of balance and “doing it all”, I reached out again and again when that feeling of overwhelm rushed over me.
And every time I reached out, I received what I needed and it reaffirmed the affirmation that “I was enough”.
In this process I also redefined what “enough” was for me and how that played out in my day to day. I was doing it…this affirmation stuff was really working. On the outside looking in, it may not have seemed like much changed in my life, but on the inside I had changed. My affirmation moved from just a statement I said aloud daily to an actual reality.
So my friends, I encourage you to reacquaint yourself with affirmations again. Ignore the affirmation naysayers. Find ones that align with your intentions for this new year. Take a leap of faith and then find simple ways to apply them to your everyday life. Affirmations can be powerful tools when we apply an action behind them.
