It’s been 2019 for a few weeks now. Are you still writing 2018 on everything? Because I am. I love the start of a new year. It feels full of possibilities and opportunity. Resolutions, goals, plans are on most everyone’s mind. I am a task-oriented, to-do list writer, goal setter. However, over the last few years, I have made an effort to not set goals and resolutions that demean and belittle the person I already am. Of course, I know there is room for improvement. But instead of starting the year feeling pressured to meet my own expectations by the end of the year, I hope to set myself up for success.
This year, among other goals I hope to accomplish and habits I plan to make, I came up with a few motherhood “statements,” if you will. If you have heard of or follow Rachel Hollis (finally read Girl, Wash Your Face after being #97 on the library hold list; still better than being #296 for Crazy Rich Asians), one thing she suggests is writing down your goals in present tense. I love this. Writing and saying your goals as if they already are.
So, this is me as a mother in 2019:
I speak softly and positively.
I am not a yeller. I can only remember a few times I have actually yelled at my kids. That’s not to say I have never spoken in a slightly (or not so slightly)…frustrated tone. But my goal this year is to speak softly. To not talk over my children when I am trying to get their attention. To go to them and get on their level to talk to them. Softer in tone and softer in volume. Talk with instead of talk at.
I will also speak more positively. It’s our jobs as moms and parents to teach our children. It’s a huge job and carries a lot of responsibility. With that being said, this year, I hope to rein in the “Stop that,” “Don’t do that,” “No” and turn it into more positive, cooperative, and problem-solving conversations.
I go on adventures.
Before my last baby was born, I would say I was a pretty adventurous mom. I took my kids on a few outings a week and regularly planned activities and went on adventures. I even wrote a post on it here. After my fourth baby was born (also only a month or so after my husband started a new job), I went into survival mode. Our weekly adventures consisted of maybe going to the park or possibly Costco. But my baby is growing up, I’m not exhausted every single day, and I feel like I have a bit of a better handle on things. So this year we will go on adventures.
I am intentional.
Did I mention that I felt like for most of last year I was for the most part “winging it”? And I don’t even feel bad about it. Those months were a season in my life. I knew it wouldn’t feel like survival mode forever. My kids were still happy. I was still happy. But now I feel the pull for more. So I hope to live this year full of intention. I plan to be intentional with my conversations, activities and interactions with my children.
Who are you as a mother in 2019?
