The Mother In Law—a scary creature that will either embrace you or criticize you for the rest of your life.
Whenever that word is spoken in a room, most everyone rolls their eyes and all secretly cringes inside. Whether they appear every weekend or only on holidays, we all know one or have one. This is the person that gave you your significant other and shaped them into the person they are today. That word should be associated with love and respect. But many times, we’re not so lucky. There are all types of mothers in law and many of us would like to change aspects of our own mother in law. When talking to my friends, we were able to narrow the MILs we know into four main groups. Here are a few examples from some of my friends or ones that I have encountered.
The Weasel – Some people would say this is the most annoying kind. This is the mother in law that comes over unannounced or with short notice. Pops up whenever she wants and expects a clean house(you wish) and a warm meal. Her expectations are out of this world. Whether you work or stay home she expects June Cleaver, perfect wife and perfect Mom. Reality…that’s not happening.
The Out of Town MIL – This mother in law can be a blessing or a curse. They live far away, so whenever you see them they swarm you with all their sage advice all in one visit. These visits can be exhausting, because you will get a year’s worth of criticism or advice in one visit. On the other hand, you can have the mother in law that is too busy to deal with you and you see them once a year, because you are just another daughter in law with kids to feed and care for.
The Retired MIL – This mother in law is done with parenting. They raised their kids and now they have moved on. They rather play golf, be at a book club, or go to church. If you ask to drop your kiddos off for a few hours, they act like they have never raised kids before and instructions you give them are out the window; either they ask a ton of queestions like they are novices at child care, or they completely disregard anything you’ve asked them to do while watching your child.
The Nagger – This mother in law compares you to every other mother she knows. Why can’t you cook like she used to or discipline your children like she always did? It’s the little comments that are truly soul crushing. She wants you to be perfect and all you’re trying to do is survive.
I write this knowing that many of us are about to endure extended time with our beloved MILs. Whichever one you have or know, there isn’t one that is better or worse, there are tradeoffs with each type. Force yourself to remember they are mothers, too, just like us. They raised children into grown adults and now are experiencing the next phase of motherhood/grandmotherhood. Whenever you have problems or get frustrated with your mother in law, try to remember that she had a mother in law, too, and probably had similar issues. My main advice for surviving your MIL is to look at your spouse, and remember that you married them for the person they are, and, more than likely, it was their mother who instilled those values and traits that you love about them. And that’s worth quite a lot.
