As I write this, my 2 year old – about to be 3 year old – daughter is finally asleep in her bed. Let me clarify: she’s asleep in her crib. Yes, she is still in her crib. It’s worked well for our family….up until now. My daughter had actually told me many times she didn’t want a big girl bed. So I put the issue on the back burner and enjoyed the ease of our nightly routine. We were all content. Until one night my daughter wasn’t.
I’ll rewind a little bit because I saw this coming. My daughter learned to climb in and out her crib a couple months ago, but it was difficult for her. She only did it during the day when she wanted to jump on the mattress. Since she was fine sleeping in a crib, she didn’t try to get out at night. I’ll rewind back a little bit further to last summer when we found out baby #2 was on the way. I expected to transition my daughter out of the crib before the baby was born anyway, but I still waited as long as possible.
Despite holding off on change (which I’ve never really liked), I actually wanted my daughter to gain more independence, and I wanted another baby. But a big part of me also wanted to enjoy the ease of our daily life with just the three of us. My daughter was able to communicate better, and she was sleeping through the night in her own crib. And I was sleeping through the night in my own bed. We had a predicable routine with work, school and family time. I didn’t want to disturb the peace unless I absolutely had to. I was waiting for the gravitational pull of time to make me change it until I couldn’t resist.
One night our precious balance started to shift, thrusting me into a disorganized night time routine. My daughter began climbing out of her crib at bed time, delaying the process of going to sleep for us all. It started one night and then she did it again the next night over and over. Then the early morning awakenings started. And the meltdowns at night, all within just a few days. It was a downhill slide and I was losing all traction. I should also mention that we had some other changes going on like a new classroom at school, which she didn’t quite like yet. She would say over and over that she missed me, even after spending hours with her. It broke my heart.
I started to have my own meltdowns, crying in the shower after I had finally exhausted her with multiple redirections back to her crib. My daughter was changing for the better but it sure didn’t feel like it, and maybe that’s because I needed to step up and help her. The time for change had come. I started to grieve the loss of our previous routine, and then I took a deep breath of acceptance. I was not in control anymore, and it made me a nervous wreck. So I decided to embrace the change and create a big girl room for my baby girl.
The transition to a big girl/boy bed can happen in many different ways. The mother can initiate it when they think the child is ready (whether the kid asks for it or not), or they can wait until the child initiates it like I did. There is no right or wrong. Every family and every child is different. But, if you are thinking about switching to a big girl/boy bed, here are some things I found helpful with the transition:
Toddler Bed versus Regular Bed: You need to decide first what type of bed will work well for your child and family. The toddler bed has a built in rail, whereas the regular bed (twin or full) doesn’t. You may need to buy the rails for the regular bed, so be prepared to have these when you make the actual transition, otherwise you’re sleeping with your toddler and one eye open to prevent them from falling.
Fun Sheets: It helps to find some fun bedding that your child will like so they enjoy going to their new bed. Since I was recently on the market for these, I will share that most stores have twin sized sheets that are polyester, unless you buy a regular solid colored set of cotton sheets. If your kid likes Disney, make bed time fun with the characters they like on their pillow or comforter.
Access to Light: If your child gets up in the night, they will need access to a light. There are a variety of light switch extensions you can attach to an existing wall plate. You can also use a night light, and there are even portable night lights available. Another option is a toddler lamp that sits on a nightstand with easy on/off switches.
Clock: Your toddler most likely can’t tell time yet and won’t know when it’s time to get out of bed, which could lead to a lot of night wakings for all of you. There are toddler clocks that help with this and can help your child know when it’s time to wake up. Some of them change colors and some have alarms, and some are night lights themselves.
Make it Exciting: This IS something exciting and showing excitement (even if you dread midnight awakenings) helps your child feel confident in their new bed. Gather the favorite stuffed animals or toys that will make them more comfortable, or read a book in bed with them. It will help you and your child make the transition.
Good luck mamas!
