I did not find out the sex of my first child until birth, so I bought and was gifted very basic gender-neutral clothing, stuffed animals, toys, etc. On the day of birth, we found out that our child was a boy and we could not (and still could not be) have been more in love. As he has grown and changed for birthdays and Christmases, people have given him lovely toys like building blocks, cars, trucks, etc.
Originally, I hoped that I was only going to give my kids wooden toys or toys that had a true purpose—no battery operated toys for them! I laugh at that notion now, but the ones with batteries do still bug me. However, I have purposefully tried to add variety to my son’s toys because I do not want him to be raised thinking that toys are divided into two groups: boys and girls. Here’s why.
Because I Believe the Same “Skills” Should Be Taught to Girls and Boys
When my son was a little over a year old, I started thinking about giving a baby doll to him. We knew that we wanted another baby in the next year or two, and I thought a baby doll might help him understand how to “take care” of one. After all, this was something people did for girls, so why shouldn’t my son know and understand the same skills? After all, men also change diapers, feed bottles, bathe the baby, etc.
When I found out I was pregnant with my second child, I knew it was time to present my son with his first baby doll. My mom has lived in the same house for over 20 years and kept many of our old toys. It was no problem to pluck one of my old baby dolls from the storage shed. He loves it.
A kitchen is not something that only women use, so why should a play kitchen be just for girls? We got a play kitchen for him late last summer with the plan of saving it for a Christmas gift. I could hardly stand the wait! Plus I knew it would entertain him for hours at a time, so we ended up giving it to him right away. After three long hours of assembly one night, it was ready for him to start “cooking” in the morning. He loves this toy and has learned a lot about cooking. He has learned what to do and not to do, as well as had exposure to unique foods.
Because I Want to Share My Childhood Toys with Him
Like I mentioned before, I have been fortunate enough to have a parent with a house that has the space for storage for many of my most treasured childhood toys. My dad built a dollhouse for me when I was a girl that I dreamed of one day sharing with my kids. This thing is massive: 14 rooms, an attic that opened and shut, real shingles on the roof, wallpaper in every room, and three different types of flooring…the whole nine yards.
A couple of months ago, we pulled it out of the shed and it was rat-infested and no longer usable for our son. I was crushed. Fortunately, all the furniture was safe in its plastic container. So I shed a few tears and ordered a cube shelf to use as a house instead. My son has the best time playing with the little pieces and setting up the rooms. I love watching his mind at work and sharing this experience and memories with him.
My husband made a really good point about letting our son have a dollhouse. He told me that growing up, he was always given pretend animals and cowboys to play with since he grew up on ranches. He told me that the things the adults missed was that ranches have houses, too, and boys need to learn to cook and clean them, just like the girls!
Because I Don’t Want Him to Miss Out on An Interest That’s “Too Girly”
My son loves to help me cook. He also loves to help his dad cook. He loves to help me build IKEA furniture and mow the lawn with his dad. I believe that children should be given the freedom to explore their interests. They should not have them told they are only for one gender or another. It’s up to us as parents to provide our kiddos with a variety of activities and toys, and expose them to all kinds of skills they’ll need as they grow into independent adults.
