It probably would have been a good idea to let my husband know that I had always wanted to have three kids (even as a child, I knew that three was my number). I mean, I was an only child and although I loved it, I knew that one day as a parent I’d love to have three kids. But when you’re young and making a plan for your life, you don’t account for all the unexpected things life has a tendency to throw your way.
Our parenthood journey started out as a bumpy one. In 2006, when we were expecting our first child, we miscarried after six weeks. Devastating for new parents to say the least. After this experience, I prayed that if I became pregnant again, I’d be happy with just one. I was no longer going to go for three.
So, then it happened in 2007. We had our first baby. He was five weeks premature but still perfect as can be. With him around, I put the thought of having any more kids out of my mind. Fast forward three years, and we got a happy surprise. We were pregnant with baby number two. This was short lived, as I miscarried after nine weeks. Any loss, whether it’s after six weeks, nine weeks, 20 weeks, or at birth is a loss. This triggered something in my brain about gratefulness. I was so grateful for the one sweet boy we had. I was sad, too, of course. But with loss, you tend to accept things for how they are and live with an appreciation for your present moments.
In 2011, we received yet another surprise. At this point, after two miscarriages, any pregnancy is a time of joy mixed in with a hefty amount of anxiousness (for me, at least). But in June of 2012, we had our second baby boy. I was officially a “boy mom.” Two kids, five years apart was different, but totally manageable. When I had to feed the baby or change diapers, my husband could take care of big brother and vice versa. We were full on man-to-man defense most of time all of the time.
Then in 2014, we were pregnant once again. This was it. I was about to have the three kids I had always wanted. But at 12 weeks. we miscarried. It happened just before we were to start announcing our pregnancy. Again, with heavy hearts we pushed through. Two little boys depended on us and although we allowed ourselves times to accept this loss, we were so grateful for the gifts we had.
The surprises don’t stop there. At the end of 2015, we welcomed our third boy. He had two big brothers who were so ready to let him into their squad. I still got to keep my title of “boy mom.” And NOW, finally, after almost three years of being a family of five, I can say that THREE is the perfect number of kids for us. I can say this, because I can’t speak for having four or five or eight kids (props to mommas of more than three and the systems you have in place!).
At first, it was quite the fete just getting used to not being one-on-one anymore. As my children have gotten older (now a pre-teen, first grader, and toddler), it’s been fun to see the uniqueness each one embodies. It’s interesting to see them in different stages along the way, too. It’s taken a lot for the only child in me to understand. At first, I could not relate to the dynamics between them. And between you and me, sometimes I still don’t get it. One resource that I’m grateful for being introduced to is The Birth Order Book by Dr Kevin Leman. It taught me why each one of them is the way that they are. It also showed me why their relationships with each other (and with us) work the way they do. 
Why THREE is the Perfect Number of Kids for Me:
- There’s never a dull moment (NEVER!!). And if for whatever freak of nature reason there is a moment of peace, it’s short lived.
- My kids have the siblings that the five-year-old in me always yearned for.
- One-on-one time with each child child feels so much more precious.
- My older children are a huge help for our youngest!
- Thinking of the future and each of them as an adult with their own families puts a huge smile on my face.
- Although this can be said for any amount of siblings, knowing that they have each other makes my heart happy.
Whether you have one or twelve, you love them to no end and that’s the perfect number for you.
