I love my job. Like, really, love my job.
I tried to take a year off from teaching when we welcomed our first daughter, but I only made it five months before I accepted a long-term substitute teaching job because I missed being in the classroom. Some moms are fantastic stay-at-home moms and thrive in that environment. What I’ve found is that my family thrives when I’m working. I’m coming to terms that there’s guilt regardless of whether I work or stay at home, but for our family, life works well for us when I work.
Last year, I took my final maternity leave. I felt conflicted. I wanted to soak up every second with my little man and enjoy our time to the fullest, but I kept thinking about school, my lesson plans, my students, and events that I missed.
One afternoon I mindlessly scrolled through Twitter while holding my napping son. I paused when I came across this quote
“You’re killing yourselves for a job that would replace you within a week if you dropped dead. Take care of yourself.”
At first I scoffed. It seemed brutal and insensitive. They didn’t know MY job or MY situation. But the truth washed over me the next few days. Because I teach at an exceptional school, they would absolutely replace me with a fantastic teacher within a week. It’s not that they wouldn’t miss me or wish things were different; it’s that they care deeply for our students and their obligation is to make sure the students are taught well and loved, regardless of who does that. I’m replaceable in the classroom.
I’m irreplaceable to my four children. They will never have another biological mom. If I was to die, no one could take my place within a week.
To my kids, I can’t be replaced.
I’m replaceable at work.
I’m irreplaceable at home.
This truth completely shifted my perspective and helped me transform three unhealthy habits over the last few months.
- If I’m honest, I struggle to completely turn off my teacher brain in the evenings, and in the past, I’ve kept my phone next to me every evening to answer any emails that come in from parents, students, or colleagues. I’ve tried keeping “family hours” from 4:30-8:30pm where I put my phone away, but I’m inconsistent. Now, when I find myself attached to my phone, I remind myself I’m irreplaceable to my children. I turn the notifications to silent, and I try to be fully present with my family.
- I’ve made terrible food choices for a while. I justified the quick fast food break or the vending machine snack by telling myself I’m saving time I can devote to lesson planning or meeting with students. No more. While these choices are sometimes inevitable, I make sure these unhealthy choices are an exception to my normal routine. Since I’m not replaceable to my kids, it’s important that I take care of my health and take control of my food choices so I can set an example for them and to make sure I’m healthy enough to live life.
- I added daily walks to my routine and this is one of my favorite changes. I really enjoy being outside, the exercise has given me more energy, and often my oldest daughter will walk with me. This has become time that we cherish together. We have time to talk without anyone else around and that’s been instrumental in her sharing some big feelings as she processes though what school looks like with a learning difference.
While every family’s work/home balance will be different, you are irreplaceable to your children and your family. It’s not selfish to take care of yourself. I think it’s actually short sighted to NOT take care of yourself. I’ve also noticed that taking better care of myself and being more present for my family has made me a better teacher. I have more energy and I’m less stressed…which benefits everyone in my life.
