When I first found out I was going to become a mom, I had this mental list of what I wasn’t going to do and what I was going to definitely do with my new baby. Little did I know that most of that list would be ignored or forgotten. I thought motherhood was going to be textbook and everything would happen in certain order. I soon realized that my preconceived ideas were wrong and there was one person who was stopping me from accomplishing that list– my husband.
We come from two different worlds. I have a degree in early childhood education and have a type A personality. I spent my life with young children and educated myself throughout my entire pregnancy about how to raise a successful newborn. My husband on the other hand is the free spirit. The fun outgoing guy who just lives life as it comes.
In my mind I knew motherhood wasn’t unicorns and rainbows, but I thought it would go according to my plan and preparation. Motherhood was supposed to include all the gadgets and baby essentials that everyone else used. I remember putting things on my registry that I knew I wasn’t comfortable using but I did it anyway because it was on a list that all moms used.
I remember one day after bath time my son was super fussy and I wanted to get the baby lotion and try to massage him to get him to relax, but instead my husband picked him up and carried him around the house. At that moment my expectations weren’t met. My crazy list said I needed to massage the baby with lotion everyday after bath time but my husband instinctively knew what he needed at that moment and that’s when I just let go.
All those expectations and things I read about during my pregnancy were thrown out. I needed to live in the present and not obsess with what was popular or suggested with a newborn. New moms can be easily influenced by books, social media and other moms on this list of expectations you are supposed to perform with your child.
As a new mom, I know the overwhelming feeling that you get when you feel like you have to compete with other moms. For Type A moms, this is even harder because you are competing with yourself and other moms. I knew that I had to just let go and listen to my inner mom voice and trust my gut. I know I was sad and disappointed when my list wasn’t followed, but sometimes it just takes one person or one situation for you to change your mind.
I knew that my motherly instinct was the only thing I needed to trust. Those lists were there as a guide and not the ultimate decision maker in raising my son. Those swings, blankets, pacifiers that were on my list weren’t going to rule my life anymore, I was going with the flow and letting my baby tell me what was important.
I soon realized that if I did everything on my list I would miss out on the sweet moments with my son, and thanks to my husband the list went away.
