I’m talking about good quality alone time. I’ll explain.
It took me a long time to find the art of alone time. I spent four years as a single mom and this meant slim- to no-alone time, but then again, I also wasn’t looking for it. I didn’t realize how important it is to give myself time to recharge and be really alone until I had a weekend without my son (his dad’s weekend), without my fiancé (guys’ trip), without Sunday church and brunch (family on vacation). It was a rare weekend alone with no family in sight for days.
I literally didn’t know what to do with myself because I have always had multiple plans almost overlapping continually, rushing around packing lunches, school trips, carpool, work, play practice, grocery store, meetings, you name it; the list is always piled sky high every second of every hour of every day with everyone around.
The “just-me weekend” gave me time to reflect (sleep in) and recharge. It was a weird feeling at first. I had a glimpse inside what could be the future and I took a moment to let that sink in. Someday, Caleb will be out of the house in college. With tears in my eyes, I realized that it’s just eight years away. My fiancé will be my husband and there will be times we are apart, when he is traveling for work, golf trips with friends, etc. There will be a day we don’t have pets in the house. I was surprised I had the time to ruminate on the emotions of hey, I miss these awesome people.
Then my mind went into self-improvement mode. “Why do I let myself get stressed out, angry, tired, always feeling behind, or not enough?” I spent the weekend thinking through deep emotions and sorting through how to make myself a better me.
I went to the gym, made a healthy grocery list, and stuck to it. Went shopping and changed up a part of my tired wardrobe that needed updating desperately. I cleaned out the clutter I never thought I would get to in a million years (underneath the sink and the old makeup bins. I ended up throwing out 90% of what was there and NOW I have a clean cabinet). I got so much done that weekend that I realized how important it is to take incremental time for myself on a routine basis.
I am literally a happier person when I can just be me for a time to sort out the mess I let build up because I put everyone and everything before me.
Since the just-me weekend, I have found pockets of time that are paying off and it is truly to make me even better. A better mom. A better fiancé. A better dog mom.
10 Ideas Just For YOU
- Morning workouts. At 5am, the people in the house are still asleep. I have mixed up the mornings through an app called Class Pass and it sorts by time. This has been a game changer for my overall health.
- Schedule a massage. I haven’t done it. I am writing it here to hold myself accountable. Schedule it and go pamper yourself!
- Do nothing.
- Sit outside and drink tea or coffee. Morning time, bird chirping, serenity.
- Painting. I started furniture painting after watching dozens of YouTube videos. Ambitious but fun AND refreshed an old piece of furniture.
- Listening to podcasts. Listening to others have conversations is a great way to unwind all on its own.
- Reconnect with old hobbies.
- Indulge with a new recipe. Preferably dessert.
- Shopping. All the places kids and hubby whine about.
- Start writing. This is a great time for reflection, self expression, and helping others!
